gotitforcheap:

some nerd: you should read this new john green book, they just made a movie out of one of his novels the fault in our sta-
me:

thebootydiaries:

boy: wow the moon looks beautiful tonight

me: um…wow 😂 tell that whore she can have u. 👋 bye ugly 😂 hope she was worth it

beauty-in-healing:

margotkim:

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

this is the funniest thing i have ever read

just-shower-thoughts:

i like to stay up at night because the world feels like it stops for a few hours and you don’t have any responsibilities

thebootydiaries:

My friend: what’re you smiling about ;)

Me: nothing

My head: tutant meenage neetle teetles